The Five Flirting Styles by Jeffrey A Hall – Book Review
By Contributor: Shivani
Okay, so its valentine and this year ‘again’ I am celebrating it alone! Why cannot I seem to get my kind of perfect guy to stay with me for an entire year?! So that at least I can have someone to cuddle with on Valentine’s night! This is the story with me every year. I meet a guy, he is smart, funny and cute and wants to get with me. But then even before we have a relationship to start, I end up driving him away….!
Then I see all my friends getting into great relationships and I get way too jealous! My best friend, who writes this blog, sets me up with guys who seem awesome at first and we do get along really well in the beginning, but all of a sudden before anything can even start, I am at a dead-end! There is something seriously wrong with me I suppose. That is when I thought of consulting a psychiatrist! Yes, I do want to get things right in my life. I am 23 and yet, ‘single’. There has got to be something wrong with me.
That is when Anshita gave me a book by Jeffrey A Hall to read this Valentine, on my birthday. The Five Flirting Styles. And it looks made just for me.
Dr. Jeffrey A. Hall collaborated with eHarmony to do research on the flirting attitudes of people and now he introduces his book ‘The Five Flirting Styles – Use the Science of Flirting to Attract the Love You Really Want’. Dr. Hall is a degree holder in literature as well as a Ph.D. in relationship communication.
This book has come out after almost 10 whole years of research work in relationships, flirting and dating. The data used is of approximately 5000 daters. The book focuses on the fact that there is more than one style of flirting. Flirting is not just a small term which starts with casual talk and ends with the relationship. It is a deep theory within itself which was studies by Dr. Hall for a long time to finally understand the different human personalities around the world. Depending on these personalities you will get a good look at who you are and the kind of person you are going to be in a relationship. It is the best remedy for lost souls who still are looking for their shot at dating. The book explains the two norms of how to flirt smarter and date better.
The five styles of flirting are:
- The polite flirt – this style of flirting focuses on being mannered all throughout and not at all bringing in the sexual communication. It believes in friendship first and love later on.
- The physical flirt – this style of flirting says that there is only sexual interest between the partners. It happens with the initial attractiveness of the physical bodies and the partners enjoy sexual chemistry in the later stage.
- The playful flirt – this style of flirting says that people just flirt to have some fun and an ego boost. They have very little interest in romance. They do it randomly with people to have a good time and are not attached to feelings.
- The traditional flirt – this style of flirting believes that it is upon men to make the first move. Women do not take an active role in flirting.
- The sincere flirt – this style of flirting involves a strong emotional connection between partners. There is sincerity to forego the relationship.
The detailed study of the five flirts is given in detail in the book which will help you in a better way. You can identify not only your style of flirting and learn something from it, but you can also have a better understanding of your partner as well. It will be of great help while establishing the relationship and taking it further. By research Dr. Hall claims that the sincere style is the most common style of flirting to be found.
The book does not focus on how to win dates or how to get a good catch. It explains the type of flirting personality one has so that he can understand the kind of opposite sex he is either attracting or opposing. You can even score high by adopting a different style of flirting which is more suitable to you.
This book will give you an inside of how to analyze yourself as well as the other whom you want to get into a relationship with. There is also an online game available which practically tells you the type of flirting personality you have before you can begin the book. You can visit it at: http://flirtingstyles.dept.ku.edu/#sthash.DCRSS4Iq.dpbs
I tried it and ended up being the sincere flirt. I guess that’s my type and I end up being with either the playful or the physical flirt. Looks like I was attracting the wrong kinds all this time. Now I know what I was doing wrong. I have gotten to know the kinds of signals I have been missing. And whether I was giving the wrong note to somebody.
The basic questions which the book answers are:
- Where to look for love based on your style of flirting?
- How to tell whether someone is interested and how to avoid any missed opportunity?
- How to tell if someone wants a serious relationship or just a quick fling?
- Whether you are sending all the wrong signals, and what to do instead?
I now have the vibe that something great is going to happen ahead. Now I know what was it that Aakash always wanted to get through to me. I finally found my guy in him. And I know that all of you will get your partners as well, once you have read the book. I am going on a date with him tomorrow! Yipeeeeee! All I have is Anshita to thank and also Dr. Hall for making a wonderful creation. I would also like to thank Shruti for the wonderful pics she took. Nail art lover she is! Although Anshita and Shruti refuse to read it..they say it feels like going to back to Psychology class again! I guess self help is not their thing.